Bound to a Memory
by pandorabox82
Summary: When Harry comes home the summer after his 5th year, he has some very surprising things to find out about his aunt and his godfather. Can he accept what he finds out?


BOUND TO A MEMORY  
It was a surprisingly clear Friday in May. Bright sunshine streamed down on the houses of Little Whinging. On Privet Drive, a thin woman stepped out into her yard to work in her garden. Picking up the full watering can, she began to water her hydrangea bushes, then moved on to the begonias. She hummed to herself a song she'd heard the other night in a movie. "It will not be long, love, 'til our wedding day," she sang, the only words she remembered.  
All thoughts of song fled her mind as she took a look at her once beautiful rose bush. The day before, it had been full of heavy blood-red blossoms, their heady scent spreading over the yard. Now, the bush was empty of its flowers, and had turned a sick brown colour.  
Unbidden, his face rose up in her mind's eye. His face wore the pained look of their last meeting, when she'd told him to leave. Slowly, it morphed into the pinched face of three summers ago, when he'd been running from everything and everyone. That summer had been one of the worst, especially after that huge black dog had scared her half to death. Vernon hadn't believed her when she told him about the dog. In fact, he'd been most derisive about the whole affair 'If he'd been there, he would've believed me,' she thought.  
Suddenly, a horrible thought flitted through her brain. Stifling the gasp that rose up in her throat, she looked once more at her rose bush. There was no denying the fact that it was dead. An that could only mean one thing,.......  
She fell to her knees, great sobs shaking her body. Soon, the heat of the sun and the strength of her tears combined to cause her world to fade to black. For Petunia Dursley had come to the realization that her first love, her only love, was dead.  
***********************  
It was the sweet scent of jasmine that caused her to open her eyes a few moments later. Looking around, she could see no sign of any of the houses on Privet Drive. Yet she strangely felt at peace. She gazed across the fields of flowers, drinking in their majestic beauty. It was then she noticed the basket in her left hand, and the hat in her right. Putting the hat on, she then began to walk amongst the flowers, stopping now and then to pick some. Delicate violets, exotic hibiscus, every imaginable flower seemed to be here.  
Finally, she came to the lilies. There were ones of every colour from pure white to a purple so dark one would believe it to be black. But there, in front of her, was an explosion of tiger lilies. Their fall blossoms almost hid from her the flower she was named for. Petunia was upset that once more a lily was overshadowing a petunia, but then she realised that the lily was protecting the fragile flower. Too much sun caused the petunias to do poorly.  
She picked some of the lilies and petunias and placed them in her basket. Walking on, she soon came to a line of rose bushes once again in every imaginable colour. Her eyes scanned the bushes, desperate to find her colour. And there it was, at the very end. She quickly went to it, falling before it, the tears once more returning.  
The warm hand on her shoulder caused her to jump slightly. Turning her head slightly she found herself staring into a pair of eyes she hadn't seen in so many years. "But how.....You're dead....the rosebush told me as much."  
"Yet here I am. Well, I'm not quite alive. This is a field of memory. We're both bound to it until certain things are ironed out between us."  
"What do you mean? I told you there was nothing more between us. Why can't you accept that?"  
"I know that's not true, otherwise you wouldn't have reacted so strongly to the death of the rose bush I gave you. Are you happy, Petunia? Does Vernon love you as I loved you?  
"I'm perfectly happy, thank you very much. Vernon has given me everything I ever desired. A fine house, a son, normalcy.  
"But do you love him?"  
"Of course I love him. He's my husband." Her voice was devoid of emotion as she spoke those words, none of the normal emotions that coursed through her showing She bent her head down to that he could not se her face, or the quick tears that came to her eyes.  
His hand reached up to brush away her tears. "You never could hide your tears from me."  
"Fine, you want the truth? Of course I still love you. For those few short weeks in the summer you were my whole world. I even kept your ring!" She reached under her collar and pulled out a thin chain. On it rested a ring that Sirius knew well.  
"You - you found the ring? When?"  
"Harry found it, actually. He was working in the garden, and it fell out into his hand. IT was the only time I ever let him see me cry. He still has a hard time believing I have a heart." She laughed mirthlessly, the tears still wending down her cheeks.  
It was then that he took her in his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. I gave you up all to easily. If I'd known what was to come....." His voice trailed off, and he stared out at the flowers. Unconsciously he pulled her tighter to h is chest.  
Pushing against his chest, she looked up into his eyes. "That's just it. We never know what's to come. Life isn't built on if onlys, there has to be a foundation built, something to fall back on when things get rough."  
"I suppose our way of life would never have been stable enough for you. The order you value now is seldom found during war. Good-bye Petunia. I love you, and I'll be waiting here for you when you pas beyond the veil." He bent down to give her a quick kiss. Then he let go of her and walked off into the flowers, his body slowly transforming into that of a large black dog. Understanding filled Petunia's eyes, and she began to go after him. It was as if here were an invisible wall up now, though separating the two of them. No matter how fast she ran whenever she got close, something would stop her. Eventually she gave up, and fell to the ground, into a bed of rosemary. The pungent scent reminded her of her herb garden, and with that thought, she was one more in the garden of the house on Privet Drive.  
She opened her eyes into bright blue sky. Pushing up with her forearms, she managed to get into a sitting position. She then picked up her watering can, stood up, and went into the house to get a cold glass of water. She tried hard to forget the dream she'd just had.  
Once in the kitchen, she turned on the radio to listen to the music, hoping that current events could drive his voice from her mind.... "Scientists are baffled, as once again the Dog Star, Sirius, is hid from sight in England. No other region is reporting this phenomunon and no cause can be determined...."  
Why is it that every move I make, everything I hear reminds me of him? I put him behind me so long ago." She toyed with her necklace, pulling it out from underneath her blouse. Looking at it but a moment, her mind and heart became perfectly resolved. Unclasping the chain, she removed his ring from it, setting both on the kitchen counter. Then she removed her wedding band and engagement ring and placed those on the chair before putting it back on.  
Petunia picked up the ring she'd left off the chain and stared at it. It looked too small to fit her finger. Sighing she slipped it on anyways, and was quite surprised to see it go on, as if the slim gold band had been tailor made for her finger. Her hand somehow felt more complete, seemed more satisfying to her eyes with his ring there, instead of Vernon's.  
***************************  
Time passed, like it always does, and it was now time to collect Harry from the station. Dumbledore had requested that they all be present when he got off the train, and Petunia was loathe to cross the man.  
She saw him step off the train, only to be surrounded by people. One she recognised as the man who'd come through their fireplace. They hurriedly walked towards her and he family, and she shrank back unconsciously. All the time they talked to Vernon and her, she watched Harry, taking in his sullen face and thinner frame. Petunia looked about, trying to see if there was someone she had met before, to ask about Harry. But there was no one.  
Vernon roughly grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Come, Petunia. We're taking the boy home." He then took of towards their car, leaving the three of them to follow. Dudley eyed Harry suspiciously before taking off to join his father, leaving Petunia alone with her nephew.  
"Harry-" she began, reaching out to touch his shoulder.  
"Don't touch me!" he yelled, and she quickly withdrew her hand, trying to ignore the tears that pricked at her eyelids.  
'What were you expecting Petunia? A hug, a cry of relief, to be home?' she thought as she looked at him. "Come along, or Vernon will leave without us," she said, her voice harsher than she meant it to be. She briskly followed after Vernon, not bothering to see if Harry was following or not.  
Harry had seen the pain reflecting in her eyes, before she'd shut him out. 'What does she know about pain,' he furiously thought, trying to ignore the small voice inside of him that was telling him thing he did not want to remember. Realising that they had all gotten quite far ahead of him, he lightly ran until he was three steps behind his aunt. He took in the slump of her shoulders, at the skinnier body. 'Something's happened to her this summer.' he thought, as he watched her swipe her hand underneath her eye. It was then that he noticed she was no longer wearing Vernon's ring, but one that looked vaguely familiar. Try as he might, he could not place where he'd seen it before.  
Finally, they were at the car, and Harry wordlessly set his trunk in the boot of the car and then placed Hedwig's cage back there as well. He silently slid in next to Dudley, who tried to shrink closer to the window. Harry smiled coldly at him and chuckled as his cousin tried to bite back the whimper he released.  
"Harry! Behave yourself!" his uncle Vernon yelled at him as he was backing the car up. Petunia just gave him a long sad stare that somehow made him feel ashamed to have antagonized Dudley.  
"Yes, Uncle Vernon," he tonelessly replied and he turned his head to watch out the window, more to ignore the voice inside him telling him to forgive his aunt, to ask her forgiveness for speaking harshly to her.  
He had almost buried the voice by thinking of Quidditch, and his OWL's, and the Burrow its warmth and love. Then, Vernon stopped the car and Harry was jolted into the present once more. Glancing up to his window, he noticed there were new curtains on the windows. 'That doesn't mean anything,' he viscously thought. Getting out of the car, he grabbed a handle on his trunk and pulled it out of the car. Then, he grabbed Hedwig's cage, got a hold of his trunk and stalked into the house and up the stairs.  
"Dinner will be ready at 7," Petunia called up at his retreating back.  
"Whatever," he muttered as he turned into his room and slammed the door behind him.  
Petunia winced at the sound, and then sighed. She had hoped that she would have been allowed to explain what had happened last summer, before he'd been taken away by them. She had been so afraid that he wouldn't return, that her last link to Lily would be gone forever. Then, the message from Albus telling them to come get him. Relief had washed through her, knowing that once again he was coming home.  
She moved aimlessly into the kitchen and opened the wine cabinet, pulling out the picture that was hidden there. It was of Lily and Harry, right after Harry's birth. Petunia watched as Lily smiled up at her , down at Harry, and then back up at her. Hearing footsteps, she hurriedly replaced it and began pulling out what she'd need to get dinner ready.  
"Dinner's ready!" Harry heard his aunt call. He turned over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling He wasn't about to come down and face them. He'd rather starve. A few minutes passed, and then a few more. Harry broke down and was about to go down for the meal when he heard footsteps outside his door.  
"If you're up, I left dinner outside your door," Petunia said, before turning and going back to the kitchen.  
Harry opened the door in time to hear Vernon say, "You coddle the boy too much, Petunia. He should be so grateful he's even getting meals, that he'd eat with the family."  
"Vernon, he's had a rough year. Give him time to adjust."  
Harry smiled a bit at her words and picked up the tray. It looked really good and he wolfed it down, saving a little for Hedwig. Once he'd fed her, he opened his door and placed the tray outside. 'Maybe I won't go to the Burrow right away this summer,' he thought as he sat down to write Ron about this new twist in his life.  
***************************  
Petunia had gone up to bed at 9:30. Sleep, however, remained elusive. Looking at her bedside clock, which now read 1:30, she sighed and got up out of bed to make herself a cup of warm mil, hoping that would get her to sleep. As she passed Harry's door, she could hear his trashing about.  
"Sirius! No!" he cried out. "Come back, please come back!"  
She knocked lightly on his door. "Harry, are you okay?" she whispered.  
But if he could hear her or not made no difference, as the next thing she heard was loud sobs. "Tonks, you'll get him, won't you? Remus, can't you hear him calling to us?"  
Petunia could bear to hear no more. She put her hand on his doorknob and turned it, pushing the door in. Harry was still trapped in his dream, pleading to unseen people. She went to his bedside and sat down gently. She was greatly surprised when he sat up, his eyes still closed, and hugged her, laying his head against her heart.  
"They'll go get him, won't they, Mrs. Weasley?"  
Petunia didn't now how to answer him, so she just held him to her tightly. This seemed to calm him, and the dream faded from his mind. He woke up, still in her arms, her chin resting on the top of his head.  
"Aunt Petunia, what are you doing in my room?" he asked, a slight edge to his voice.  
"You were having a nightmare, Harry. I just thought I'd come in, to make sure you were all right."  
"I'm fine, just tired. What are you doing up at this time of night?"  
"I couldn't sleep. I haven't been sleeping well since May."  
"May? But that's when Sirius....."  
"Then it's true? He really is dead?"  
"No! He's just gone behind the veil. We can still rescue him!"  
"Harry, no you can't." Her voice became thick with tears and she shook slightly.  
He pushed away form her, anger blazing in his eyes. "How would you know? You know nothing of my world! You don't' know him! He'll be home son."  
"No, he won't. Harry, listen to your heart, it will tell you he's gone forever."  
"Why do you keep saying that? You don't' know anything about us."  
"But I do know this. Harry, come with me."  
"Where are we going/"  
"Out into the garden. Bring a torch." She got up of the bed and headed downstairs, Harry padding softly after her, a torch in his hand. She led him over to her rosebushes, and he saw her kneel before one. Turning the light of the torch on it, he saw it was completely brown, the branches brittle and dead.  
"Aunt Petunia, this is your favorite rose bush! What happened to it?"  
"Sirius happened to it."  
"What are you talking about? He was never here before he went through the veil."  
"Come back inside. I'll tell you everything over a glass of milk."  
***************************  
Once in the kitchen, Harry took a seat at the table, while Petunia got out the glasses and milk. Setting a glass before him, she began to pour the milk when his hand stopped her.  
"Aunt Petunia, where's your wedding ring?"  
She finished pouring his glass and then poured hers before answering. "I wear it here, now," she replied as she puled out the thin gold chain from beneath her nightgown."  
"But what about the ring you're wearing now? Did Uncle Vernon get that for you for your anniversary?"  
"No, this ring was given to me a long time ago, back when I was still in school, though I did not know about it. Here, look at it closely." She took off the ring and handed it to Harry.  
"It looks familiar, as if I've seen it before," he said as he examined the ring.  
"You have. You're the one that brought it to me, back when you first began working in the garden. Do you remember now?"  
"It was the time you cried, right?"  
"Yes."  
"So, who gave you this?" Harry asked as he handed the ring back to Petunia.  
"Sirius. We were in love once, then I found out what he was."  
"I don't believe you! Why would you say something so cruel?"  
"It's the truth, Harry. I loved him once, just as he loved me. And in know about him, how he could change his shape."  
"Then what did he become, if you know so much?"  
"He could become a large black dog. He was here a few summers ago."  
Harry stared at her in disbelief, his mind trying to comprehend what his aunt had just told him. 'She knew about his animagus form - could what she was saying about them being in love be true?' he thought.  
Before he could say anything, Petunia sighed, drained her glass and stood from the table. After placing the glass in the sink, she turned to go upstairs. "But, he's gone form me now. I still have Vernon, yet I'm bound....." Shaking her head, she continued out the door into the hallway.  
Harry ran after her, throwing his arms around her waist. "Tell me about him, please Aunt Petunia?" He felt her shudder, as if she were trying to control her tears.  
"What would you like to know?" she asked as she led him to the living room.  
THE END 


End file.
